A couple of weeks ago, I had a client who was curious to know what was happening in her love life. She told me that while she had little trouble meeting men, none of them were ever able to commit to the relationship. She went on to say that she was usually the one to push for commitment because it made her feel more secure and exclusive. But despite her efforts, things always fizzled. Being sympathetic, I told her that I didn’t think she was asking too much. Commitment is the usual outcome of a long courtship; many couples enter into relationships with commitment as the primary goal. But of course, there’s always an exception – like if your natal Venus is in the “I prefer friendship” sign of Aquarius, or the “I love everyone” sign of Pisces.
Growing up, we are taught to believe that relationships are supposed to look a certain way. It’s not until we’ve grown well into our late 20s, early 30s, or even older, that we realize all of our ideals may not necessarily be all that ideal. Dating, it seems, is the best way to narrow down that list of 10 top qualities in a man or woman. But a quick and more accurate way to know what it is you truly require in a relationship, is by looking at your individual birth chart. Remember that in Astrology, we are never just our Sun sign; all of the planets are aligned in certain signs on the day we are born. A Virgo Sun may be compatible with another Earth Sun (Taurus or Capricorn), but there is a lot more involved, most notably the Moon, Venus and Saturn.
The client I referred to above was born with Mars in the sign of Scorpio. Mars tells us how we go after the things that we want, and Scorpio is a fixed energy. Scorpio, in general, needs commitment. This is a sign that wants all or nothing, and Mars in Scorpio pursues all or nothing in relationships. But my client was also born with Venus in the sign of Sagittarius, which in many ways opposes the energy of Scorpio. Venus tells us what type of person we find attractive, and Sagittarius is a frivolous sign that has many different interests. An adventurous, “take the day as it may come”- type of partner is what my client is drawn to, and these qualities don’t fit well with her longing to commit.
Now please keep in mind that if you happen to have these planetary placements in your chart, neither is good or bad. They are simply a part of who you are – your cosmic DNA. To have Venus in Sagittarius does not suggest that you will never settle into a long term relationship. But only by acknowledging your Venus placement along with all the other factors in your birth chart, will you gain better insight to what it is you do want with your ideal mate. An acquaintance of mine once told me that our perfect match tends to enrich our lives in ways that we never would have imagined. A closer look at your birth chart can reveal the hidden elements of your attraction factor, and at the same time negate all those qualities that you thought were true for you.
Tracey will be conducting the workshop Dating Right For Your AstroType on Saturday, February 11th from 2p.m. – 4.p.m. For more information, email her at email@example.com.